It's That Time!

Back to more job searching... poor college kids should be given more opportunities to work, because not all of us have mommy and daddy to pay for everything. I have sent out countless resumes, so here is hoping that something finally happens.

School has finally started up for me, and I am finding myself stuck in the IHATEFRESHMEN club. I know, it sounds terrible, and normally, I would feel bad about such a sentiment, but in this case, I really don't. It is extremely hard to like someone who thinks India is in Europe... just saying. Sometimes I wonder if I were that obnoxious in my freshmen year, but then I remember, I was too busy worrying about my future to interrupt my class to make jackass comments like early humans must have believed in Santa Clause. It is a shame really, because the tension I feel growing with every comment may lead to me cursing out a classroom of ignorant people. I now understand why the older generations look at us and hang their heads in shame and despair. I would too if I had failed to tell my child that India is really a part of Asia.
On the flipside, I am studiously doing my homework (for the most part) and learning that social work readings are THICK. Not like hefty milkshake thick, but really swimming through quicksand thick. Everyday I thank the Lord that I am literate. It doesn't hurt that I have found a new blog geared towards some relaxation. If you get the chance go check out this new blog I have found. It has just started, but it seems really cool.



Credit: Bonjourbabygifts.com

A New Adventure...

After years of having my license, I have still not been able to conquer the feat of parallel parking. My home state does not make you do it in the driver's test, therefore, instructors think it is okay not to teach their students. Of course, those d-bags completely decided it was okay not to teach because "nobody parallel parks in my home state". Well assholes, I'm bringing my car to school, and guess what? I get to learn p-parking. I've only done it twice with trashcans, but I'd kind of like more guidance besides my mother deciding that twice in the dark in enough practice. F*** my life. Little amounts of sleep and a long to do list is bringing out excessive anger and potty mouth.

Guess Who's Back?

It's been a nice run,

but I am finally home. Where have I been all summer? Working at a special needs camp of course. I am trying to get as much social worky experience as I can get, and you know what? That job was one of the best jobs I have ever had. Seriously, EVER. Sure, I cleaned up a lot of shit, and went through stressful times, but I am proud to say that I can look back on it, laugh and enjoy the privilege I had to meet such incredible people.

Unfortunately, it is back to the real world, where I get to take another 18 credits while I look for a job and a church (yes, SHOCKER I like Jesus). So if anybody knows of a good laid back place to either work or worship, let me know!

Meanwhile for a random thought: I have an urge to take a homeless person out to lunch or just buy them lunch. This will take exploring when I go back to school.

Child From Below

Remember When?

I was in the car with my mom today, talking about my numerous job experiences as a teenager, but there is one that I cannot seem to shake. Sure, every job has taught me something new, and even though there were some challenges, I usually valued my experience. Out of the experiences I have had, I will never forget family X and the day I was hired to watch their child.

It Begins

I was looking for a job to supplement my income at the local grocery store I was working at, so when this new opportunity for a babysitting job came along, I jumped at the chance. Little did I know, I would be ready to run in the other direction. The family seemed like the all dandy type at first, they had nice cars, a huge house, polished children, a backyard and a small dog to match. I was young, I was excited, I was stupid.

Before I get into this story any further, I understand not all families are raised the same, but this family's method was so off beat from how I was raised, I would leave with my head spinning at the end of the day. My job was to watch their small child who was a toddler, whom we will call mini X. This child was a force to be reckoned with. Mini X probably holds the record for number of tantrums thrown in five hours. She was over privileged and under disciplined. Everything was either Mini's way or the highway. There was no reasoning with this child and punishment was not an option, because the longest timeout I had seen for Mini X was a whopping 30 seconds. When I was that age, I sat in time out until I had learned my lesson. I was beginning to cherish the times when I would work my other menial job.

Can I Quit Yet?

Time passed, and I had quit my other job so I could help out at home, so my main priority was watching Mini X and praying that I would last another day. I was quickly tiring of the facade I was putting on for this family. The day I snapped was when Mrs. X decided to have an input in my future career and tell me it was a bad idea because it didn't make enough money and it was hard. I could take laying in bed with Mini X until she fell asleep in her queen sized bed and I was even becoming numb to the tantrums. To insult my personal life though, that was the last straw. I needed an escape. Back then, I didn't have the guts to just up and quit, so I was struggling. Lucky for me, I caught a break. When the Xs called to say they needed someone more permanent, I couldn't have been happier. Who cared if I was going to be broke for a bit? I would live with less stress and more quiet, and that's the way I like it.

I'M ALIVE

Clearly, it has been a while. What have I been up to?

Finishing school for the year(Yes, finals are included too)
Coming back home
Catching up with friends
Fighting with my siblings
Watching my cousin wed
Preparing for work this summer and trying to find work for the school year

Clearly it has been a bit busy, so bear with me as I try to get it together. Unfortunately I leave soon, and may not be back til August, so a short farewell for now

Shhhh

SILENCE IS GOLDEN

Or so we are told. In my opinion, I think it is a great way to be, and I aspire to be like that. Why? Because at times, I have diarrhea of the mouth, and cannot seem to shut up when need be. My parents raised me to be polite and true to myself, unfortunately, everyone else was sarcastic and spoke their minds. It seems that here in Philadelphia, it tends to get me into trouble with my friends from time to time. I needed to give something up for lent, maybe it's my abilities to be a total asshole. I just have those moments, where afterword I am like OH SHIT I should not have said that. Then I end up kicking myself for about a week afterwords. If anyone has a cure for foot in mouth syndrome, I would love the solution!


Credit
http://annonce.deviantart.com/

SNOW

Snow has hit Philly pretty hard, and smart me, thought it wouldn't be a big deal. Yesterday I woke up, and it looked like I was back home! The big difference is, that at home, we are used to the weather, so when something like this happens, roads are cleared up quickly and in a timely manner, but down here, it isn't as expected. Instead of running around, I spent my day watching movies, and completing the Underworld series. If you ask me, it is a great way to spend a day snowed in.

Bathroom Confessions

I went out into the city the other day, and had lunch in a diner with my friend. Before braving the cold, and remembering that there are no free bathrooms in Philly, I stopped to use the toilet. Apparently, no matte how nice the place, the bathroom will ALWAYS have something interesting about it.





If the bathroom wasn't so dirty, I would have stayed longer to read these bathroom confessions. It was definitely something that I wasn't expecting to see, most of the bathroom writing I read is extremely inappropriate, but some of these seemed kind of personal. I wonder if people ever walk out of something as mundane from a bathroom, feeling better after making some sort of confession.

Okay, so I was excited about pretty much nothing. I didn't get the job that I had interviewed for, and I am pretty frustrated, not sure about what to do. I am a college kid fighting adults with degrees for a job. How will I fair? Things are probably sure to get better, but right now, I am kind of discouraged.

So my first winter break is not as breakish as I had hoped. I have spent a good amount of time applying for a summer job. This year my fingers are crossed and my heart is set on working at a camp for kids with emotional and behavior disorders. Very extensive applications, which is what they don't tell you. Hopefully I get everything done though, anyways, here is a little clip!








Credit: http://resumeprescreen.com/resources/DeskFilledWithResumes.JPG

I am absolutely flustered when...

I make an off the cuff judgment, or lose my temper and then someone says, "That's not cool, aren't you planning on being a social worker?".
That one phrase drives me crazy, for some reason it makes me feel like I should become this zen master Buddha and deny any form of anger, frustration, excited feelings and what not. Take everything with a grain of salt and just be like "Whatever happens, happens, let's go hug a tree..." It's like I am some super hippy that should love everything, but I don't. If it makes me a bad social worker, then I guess someone should suggest a new career path, but I think that I am only human, and I can't be perfect, especially when I am but a young freshman.

Home For the Holidays

This is the milestone in being that it is the first year that I am coming home for an extended holiday in my college experience. Some people see it as a rite or passage, maybe growing up and experiencing a new path in life, but to me, it shows a shift, a symbolizing of growing up and moving on. Honestly, it is a bit scary sometimes. I am the youngest child, and so to come home for the first time after an extended absence from home feels strange. The elders are getting ready to move on in their lives, and at this time next year, we may not all be together the same way that we are now. A few years ago, I would have probably had a full blown anxiety attack, but now, I am starting the accept the changes, maybe not as gracefully as I would like, but I am accepting them.

For example, when did my parents start to look so tired? I know that a part of it is due to taking care of my grandparents, but the age is starting to show on their faces. They are no longer the invincible pair that I once saw. This year, I may be watching tv show marathons with my siblings, but they will be graduating soon, and I could possibly be braving this four week vacation by myself, without a job.

At the same time, I cant help but rejoice in life moving on. I am finally studying the area that I wanted to study as a student working with people. For once, I am at a school, where I don't hate myself or the people as much as I used to just a few years ago. People are starting to see me a little faster than they used to, and I am growing even deeper in my relationships that count. Even though the environment of this year may not be the same next year, I can smile and know that no matter what, I will have these memories and deepening relationships with the people I know and love.

Tis The Season

The most stressful week at the end of the semester is the one before finals. It feels as though all of the professors have realized that they have a crapload to catch up on. This is not one sided of course. Every student realizes that the assignments they were supposed to be working on all semester will be due in about three days time. I would say that coffee distributors make a lot of money during these times, although I personally do not drink it myself.

My workload is not too bad, but at the same time, I am trying to finish all of my Christmas shopping for the best type of values possible. It is a not so very nice task, and I really would enjoy taking a nao, but I think I can pull all of this work off, well I kind of don't have a choice, merit scholarships come with GPA requirements. I swear the roomie has less than I do. I barely see her going to class and in her spare time she has been playing farmville and making like 20 candycane decorations and hanging them on our door outside. How she manages to have enough time to do soemthing like that is beyond me. The most mysterious wonders in the world begin in my head. Only one and a half more weeks and I will be home.



Credit: Refracted Moments at Flickr

Living in Filth

Okay, so I just spent the better half of my day cleaning my dorm room. I usually pick up my stuff and then dust, but today I went even farther and vacuumed as well. What I have just realized is that despite the fact that my dear roommate has all of the cleaning supplies, she has failed to clean anything since we have arrived. She goes home a lot of weekends, but during the week, when she is not in classes, chances are she is in the room on facebook. Now, if she did not have time, I would understand, but seeing as she had all the time in the world to paint a big ass turkey on our window, I think it is safe to say that she has time. Her vacuum is also about the size of a cat, so you know, it's an effective time saver...
When I first came to college, I was worried about being the messy roommate, but now that I am here, I see that I am the cleaner one. This in itself is a massive revelation, and I hope that I can keep it up.
As for the shy boy who liked me, I am not sure what will become of that one. I hear he has been denying that he likes me and no longer acknowledges my presence any longer when we pass each other. My friends are probably more upset than I am, but that's how life works I guess.

The Roommate

I realize that colleges try to match people with their roommates based on personality, but in my opinion they screwed up with me. Before I went to college, I e-mailed my roommate and through e-mail thought we would be good friends. Come move in day, I found it wasn't the case. My roommate was not what I expected, she was awkward and quiet, and I just didn't feel comfortable at all. It only took a few weeks for me to have a good group of friends, and yet she had none at all. She took to following us around, inviting herself to dinner or any activity we were going to.

It would be unfair to say that she is weird, but she is definitely someone I would never hang out with. Her stories are not funny, and after she's done with them, the whole room will go quiet on account of having nothing to say. Coming into college she had a boyfriend, but I never really heard much about him. She was never even on the phone. When they broke up, she was sad, but I had a hard time feeling sympathetic. How can you show sympathy for someone who won't even talk to their significant other on the phone?

She never leaves the room unless she's in classes. She does eat with other people sometimes, but it's at the point where I can barely stay in my room. The case of the awkward roommate. Hopefully next year will be better.
Credit: ehow.com

The Cost of Simple Living

First off, Happy Halloween! I hope that everyone has had a chance to join in on the celebration and dress up! I admired the awesome costumes I saw on the street. Quailman, Gumby, Scuba diver and the kid from Where the Wild Things Are. Completely creative. Some of the other ones, not so awesome including anything with the word sexy in it. I saw a whole lot of unwanted ass today.

Other than that, I have found that in college, girls have made it a habit of spending $30-60 for about a foot of fabric just so they can make guys look and maybe touch if they have consumed enough alcohol. If I crack the window open, I can hear drunk people partying it up on the sidewalk outside, listening to them scream about how they stumble. It's becoming the soundtrack of my weekends.

This year I have chosen to stay out of the festivities. Due to illness and no desire to take part in this ritual, I went into the city with one of my friends and ate, did some shopping, and wandered around. Now we sit in my room watching Law and Order SVU; life could not get any better. I am aware that this sounds like a boring Halloween, but I am happy with what I have chosen to do. There is one wrinkle in my night though; since when were there prices on bodily functions?




My friend and I had to use the bathroom, and ended up walking three blocks before we found an available restroom. Every store had told us that there was no bathroom. It was like seeing water in a drought. We were so happy. Unfortunately, there was a catch; we had to buy something first. I am a freaking college student! Where is the money going to come from, my ass? I really had to go, so I paid the price. I essentially paid $1.75 to piss. To top it all off, it was the world's grossest bathroom, I am pretty sure it broke some standards. Grafitti on the walls, toilet paper on the floor, well you can see for yourself, but the smell. Old dirtied disinfectant. I am unsure what is worth my disgust, the fact that I spent almost two dollars to pee, or the fact that I peed in a bathroom that probably gave me some sort of infectious disease. The argument could be made that they didn't want drug users in the bathroom, but my only reasoning is that they do not desire freeloaders. What has this country come to that a person cannot even demonstrate their own human bodily functions freely?

Credit:ecorations.com

Living It Out

So my mission in college is to do things that make me nervous or uncomfortable. Here's what four weeks have done for me:

1) Church
I attended a Catholic church service, and that's a big deal. I have always been scared of it.

2) Applying to a service trip
Usually anything that requires me to apply and such makes me nervous because I never feel like I am ever good enough to get in. I handed it in just a few minutes ago, so keep me in your prayers and thoughts!

3) Volunteering
I volunteered at a homeless shelter, and I was scared, I don't know why, it just scared me, not the people necessarily, but the other volunteers weren't as... um cheerful

4) Retreat
I spent a night in the woods with strangers, and it was the best choice I have made since I have been here!

What are things that scare you? Have you accomplished them?

Do You Know Me?

I am leaving for college, in a week exactly. This is almost scary. I have the new laptop, the new college bedding. Books are ordered, and I am writing an essay. Since when did life move this fast?

When I was eight, I thought that eighteen was light-years away. Laying in my bed at night, I would stare at the bottom of my sister's mattress above my head, and just try to imagine myself as an eighteen year-old going off to college. What would I be like? Would I be happier, sadder, would I be successful? Would I still like the same things?

I am now eighteen years old, moving towards a college career at a steady pace, and lately, I find myself doing the same exact thing I did when I was eighteen years old. Will I be successful, happier, lonely? Will I have the same friends I have now? People always change in college, how will I change? How will my beliefs, interests, and focus change? Can I stick with the major I chose for myself? Ten years later, I am asking myself the same questions, and I am pretty sure, that in fifty years, I will probably still be wondering.

Working Realities

I have been extremely fortunate this summer to keep two jobs that keep me busy five days during the week. I work on a farm as well as painting a commercial property to be rented soon. I usually work around 9 and then work until about 6-8 at night. This sounds a bit busy for a person who just graduated from high school, but I know I actually have responsibilities.

No I don't pay for college, but I pay for everything else such as the books and my clothes and other sorts of things that I may want. Luckily I don't own my own car or else car insurance and maintenance would be part of it. I have a friend working a summer camp job to pay for car insurance, but she gets paid about $125 a week, averaging about $3 an hour.

I have no idea if other people my age think about these things, because I live in a pretty well off suburb, allowing the kids to party. If they do work, they spend a lot of their free time partying. When it's time to get back to work, they are left with little to no energy. So where is the reality in this? They spend money on tinted windows, big rims, new technology. Do they know what the future holds? Where I live, more and more people are losing their jobs. Big name companies are moving production over seas. So what's left to come? Where is the reality for today's youth?

Photo Credit: dhh.louisiana.gov
www.flickr.com/photos/amagill/362201147/

Don't Want Don't Ask

There is something that I hate more than anything; people who don't take criticism gratefully. It honestly drives me insane. A lot of times people will ask for advice whether it be writing, or cooking or their life. It's always an honor to be considered to do such a task, but a lot of times, after spending time and effort to read and make suggestions, the writer ends up getting offended. I am a very honest person and truly want people to better themselves at whatever they are asking for me to review, so whatever advice I give, you damn well know that I took a lot of time to consider everything and give an honest answer.

It is well known that anyone who does this for you, is trying to help.They take time and energy out of their day to help you fix whatever you are presenting to them. If they didn't care, they wouldn't do it. So why is it, that every time there is negative criticism, the person gets incredibly offended and either accuses you of being mean or telling you that they don't care? Am I supposed to praise them for something I honestly don't think deserves it?

Example, I was reading a story the other day for someone who wanted for me to give some sort of advice. I finally got around to it, and found some things to be a bit weak, so I told them. My response? "I don't care." Well that was the response in not such a polite way. I really got confused on that one. If you can't handle the truth, then stop asking for feedback. That is something I have always been taught. I don't know, maybe I am wrong?

Photo Credit: http://www.fotosearch.com/bthumb/RBL/RBL008/b12562.jpg