This is the milestone in being that it is the first year that I am coming home for an extended holiday in my college experience. Some people see it as a rite or passage, maybe growing up and experiencing a new path in life, but to me, it shows a shift, a symbolizing of growing up and moving on. Honestly, it is a bit scary sometimes. I am the youngest child, and so to come home for the first time after an extended absence from home feels strange. The elders are getting ready to move on in their lives, and at this time next year, we may not all be together the same way that we are now. A few years ago, I would have probably had a full blown anxiety attack, but now, I am starting the accept the changes, maybe not as gracefully as I would like, but I am accepting them.
For example, when did my parents start to look so tired? I know that a part of it is due to taking care of my grandparents, but the age is starting to show on their faces. They are no longer the invincible pair that I once saw. This year, I may be watching tv show marathons with my siblings, but they will be graduating soon, and I could possibly be braving this four week vacation by myself, without a job.
At the same time, I cant help but rejoice in life moving on. I am finally studying the area that I wanted to study as a student working with people. For once, I am at a school, where I don't hate myself or the people as much as I used to just a few years ago. People are starting to see me a little faster than they used to, and I am growing even deeper in my relationships that count. Even though the environment of this year may not be the same next year, I can smile and know that no matter what, I will have these memories and deepening relationships with the people I know and love.
